I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
