Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
