Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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