I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
