Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
