Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
