I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
