When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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