i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
