..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
