Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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