I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Please don't give away my fajitas
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
