I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
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