You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
