Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
