Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
