That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
