So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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