After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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