remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
