my phone needs a breathalizer
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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