are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
