who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
pray to the hookup gods
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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