"it" just moved
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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