i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
