I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
