i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
