Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
