so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he puts the penis in happiness.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
