Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
