just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
