you guys were way drunker than both of me
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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