I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
