margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
