the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
