so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
