We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
