Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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