i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
This is my life. Enjoy the view
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
