R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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