bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just cropdusted the office
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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