you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Be still, my beating vagina.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
