i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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