hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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