It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
