Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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