that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
