So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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