I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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