I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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