Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
