Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
