where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
