There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
